Transformation
by Julia Weasley
Summary: Pairing: HG The summer after OotP Ginny makes Harry come to a resolution about it whether he likes it or not. Their relationship deepens. PG for slight swearing


Transformation By Julia Weasley  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything in J.K. Rowling's world. Damn.  
  
How much could one person take? That's all Ginny kept thinking every time she looked at Harry.  
  
Harry was already a relatively solitary person when it came to his true feelings, but Sirius's death seemed to shove that to an alarming extreme, pushing Harry into a deep place he wouldn't let anyone enter.  
  
After staying at the Dursley's for a couple of weeks, Harry came to stay at the Burrow. Ginny was surprised at the easy way Dumbledore gave in. She had assumed Dumbledore would want Harry to remain there for more time.  
  
A day after he arrived, she voiced her concern to her mother. Mrs. Weasley confided in her that Dumbledore thought it a good idea for him to be around people he was closest to; to be around noise and happiness, family.  
  
But after two weeks of almost complete silence from Harry, Ginny wasn't so sure the Burrow was all he needed.  
  
She was never a passive person and not saying anything to Harry was killing her. He needed to talk to someone whether he believed it or not.  
  
But Ginny knew Harry. Oh, she knew him so well that she was sure it would scare everyone. She knew Harry didn't want to talk. She knew he didn't want to relieve the unbearable pain she knew he was feeling. She knew Harry wanted to dwell in the suffering because deep down he believed he deserved the pain and all of the burdens that came with it.  
  
Ginny knew he was so wrong.  
  
She also knew what a fool she was to think she could stop loving him. When you love someone, you feel their pain as deeply as if it were your own. The startling discovery did nothing to deter her from acting on her knowledge, from acting on her desires to help him in any way she could think of.  
  
A week ago, Ginny approached him. He was sitting on the ground in the backyard, his knees placed against his chest, his arms folded around them. His head was placed on his arms. His shoulders were slightly sagging; a dead give away to Ginny of the weight he was feeling. She had brought his Firebolt and Ron's Cleansweep out with her, hoping to rouse him out of his stupor.  
  
His shoulders stiffening was the only indication Harry gave that he knew she was standing beside him.  
  
Ginny watched his messy, black hair blow slightly in the light breeze. He was unbearably beautiful in his stillness. Her heart ached seeing him like that.  
  
She sat next to him, relieved when he didn't offer any protest to her presence.  
  
After a moment or two of peace, Ginny asked, "Want to fly a little? I brought your Firebolt out with Ron's Cleansweep. He said I could borrow it." Ginny silently congratulated herself on the way her statement brought just enough normalcy to the request.  
  
He didn't look at her when she spoke to him. He didn't answer for almost a full minute, then, "Not really, Ginny."  
  
She let out a little sigh. "Come on, Harry. I was hoping you'd show me that little diversionary technique you used against Malfoy."  
  
Harry tensed.  
  
Ginny mentally slapped herself. She couldn't believe she mentioned Malfoy to Harry, even if she meant Draco. It was sure to bring back memories of the Department of Mysteries; things he didn't want to remember. Lucius was there after all.  
  
Harry rose suddenly. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and started to walk away from her.  
  
He paused a short distance from her, his back still to her. "Maybe later," was his only reply before continuing on his way to some unknown destination.  
  
She watched him go with a pain in her chest, not knowing what to do or say to make it better, so she let him walk away, while she was left there with both brooms clutched in her fists. She knew it was bad if Harry wouldn't even touch his favorite thing in the Wizarding world.  
  
And so it went for a week. Every time she tried to approach him, he would automatically shut her out.  
  
Her other family members were faring no better.  
  
Only two days ago, Ginny had caught him staring at his nearly untouched plate of food as the rest of the Weasley's and Hermione were chatting as normally as possible. When Mrs. Weasley asked Harry if there was anything else he wanted to eat. He muttered a no thank you without looking at her. Ginny watched Mr. and Mrs. Weasley exchange helpless glances. The rest of the family looked around awkwardly at each other, before Mr. Weasley mercifully changed subjects.  
  
Things still weren't better a week later.  
  
Today, like every other day for a week, Harry was back in the same spot with his back facing the Burrow. She'd been watching him for some time now. She'd even witnessed Ron and Hermione's attempts at talking to him; Hermione looking anxious, Ron at a loss for words. No one knew how to comfort him, not even the two who were closest to him.  
  
She saw through the window, Ron's pleading with Harry to talk. Ginny saw Hermione say something to Harry and give him a small hug that he didn't respond to, before taking Ron's arm and leading him away.  
  
Hermione and Ron's attempts failed and he was alone again.  
  
Anger suddenly boiled inside Ginny. She'd had enough of this. Enough was enough. She gathered her courage and made her way to the door that led to the backyard. Swinging the door open, she passed to the outside, stomping out to face him.  
  
She saw Ron and Hermione out of the corner of her eye, sitting side by side, a little ways from Harry watching him. They looked up as she approached Harry. Ron looked a little surprised and Hermione's eyebrows rose into her bushy, brown hair. Ron made to get up, but Hermione quickly grabbed him by his arm and forced him back down for which Ginny was grateful.  
  
When Ginny finally reached Harry she grasped him by his hand and forced him to his feet.  
  
"Ginny! What?" He protested, "Ginny, wait!" He stumbled trying to keep up with her furious pace. She could feel her pulse pounding in her ears.  
  
She didn't give him a word or a backward glance. She simply pulled him with her away from Hermione and Ron, toward a more secluded part of the backyard near the trees. When she knew she and Harry were out of view and hearing range, she stopped and turned on him.  
  
Harry, slightly startled by her actions, slipped a little as she pushed him against the nearest tree.  
  
"Enough, Harry!" She said forcefully. "You've got to stop this! Say something...anything! Just say it!"  
  
She saw the surprise in his eyes, before he covered it, going blank again. "I don't know what you mean," was his lame reply.  
  
Ginny's "Weasley temper" flared. "Oh, bullshit, Harry! Stop it!" She stamped her foot to emphasize her determination.  
  
She saw his eyes light with anger turning them an intense shade of green behind his glasses.  
  
"What gives you the right to shout at me?" he nearly screamed at her.  
  
Any other person would've flinched at his terrible fury, but Ginny wasn't just anybody. This was it; this was the anger she wanted to see. Anger proved he was still able to heal.  
  
"I've got every right, Harry!" she shouted back.  
  
He stepped closer to her, invading what little personal space she had left.  
  
"Oh yeah?! And what makes you say that?" he bellowed back.  
  
"Because, I care about you, that's why! We all do!" Her face was steadily turning red.  
  
"Well, stop caring! I don't want it! Leave me be!" his voice cracked with emotion. He racked a hand through his black hair and made to move her roughly aside.  
  
She reached out and shoved him back. "Oh no you won't! You can stop right where you are! I didn't know you were the kind of person who runs away from your problems, Harry!"  
  
She was pleased to see Harry flinch at her words. His anger, the fire in his eyes was suddenly doused.  
  
"I'm not running, Ginny. Please, just leave me be," he sounded so defeated and lost.  
  
But she still wasn't satisfied, "Stop lying to me, Harry! I know you! I know what you're feeling!"  
  
Her passion roused his anger again. "Shut up! You don't know. How could you possibly know! No one knows!"  
  
"Yes I do!" she shouted, standing her ground. She wasn't afraid of his outburst. She wasn't afraid of him at all and she knew that made him even more irritated.  
  
"Explain it to me then!" he nearly growled drawing himself up to his full height.  
  
She wasn't intimidated. "I know you feel guilt about Sirius's death. I know you don't want to relieve that horrible pain you're feeling because you are so sure you deserve every second of hurting it brings you," her voice rose, "I know you blame yourself for everything that has happened! I know you are slowly dying inside, Harry! I know you think it will never get better!" her voice broke. "You don't deserve that." She felt the tears threaten to fall.  
  
"I do deserve it, Ginny." That statement was her undoing. The first tear escaped through her strawberry blond lashes.  
  
"You didn't ask for any of this, Harry."  
  
Harry's face softened. "Ginny, don't. Please don't cry." He placed an awkward hand on her shoulder.  
  
She gave a strangled laugh. He was trying to comfort her even though he was hurting far worse, even though she was crying for him; how very Harry of him.  
  
"I'm not," she said, "I won't. It doesn't matter how much I cry for you. It doesn't matter how much anyone cares for you. It's all up to you, Harry." She wiped the stray tears from her freckled cheek. "I'll be here if you need me."  
  
She turned and left him standing there wrapped up in his own personal battle.  
  
He silently watched her and let her go.  
  
Whether Ginny knew it or not, a door had been opened.  
  
After that encounter, Ginny found Harry watching her more and more. She pretended not to notice his glances even if they were so blatantly obvious. She mused that he was probably watching her because he didn't know what to make of her. She must have shocked him with her compelling behavior three days before.  
  
He would watch her whenever she played chess with Ron, or giggled about silly things with Hermione. But none of that mattered to her.  
  
Her heart swelled with love for him every time she thought of the way he had tried to comfort her even when he was in desperate pain. That had only reminded her of why she loved him so much. She loved him because he was Harry. She didn't try to deny herself of her feelings any longer. That still didn't mean that she knew what to make of them.  
  
So she did the only thing she found natural, she forced down the silly thoughts and fantasies of him coming to her for comfort and made herself be realistic about everything.  
  
She smiled when she noticed Harry walking with Ron and Hermione two days after her dispute with him. She was sitting near the Burrow's pond, watching the trio make there way back from the village.  
  
It made her remember the conversation she had had with Hermione.  
  
Hermione had come to Ginny the night of her confrontation with Harry to ask what had been said. She had listened to Ginny without interruption through the whole explanation, tears eventually slowly falling out of her eyes. When Ginny was finished, Hermione had simply hugged her and thanked her so sincerely that Ginny almost cried herself.  
  
She was brought out of her reverie when someone called her name. She looked up and noticed Ron standing in front of her. He was giving her that look he generally reserved for his only sister. She smiled at him, motioning him to sit down beside her.  
  
They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, watching nothing and everything at the same time.  
  
Ginny leaned back on her hands and titled her face towards the warm sunshine enjoying the feel of it. Ron laid back on his elbows, crossing his legs in a comfortable fashion.  
  
"So," he said, "are you up for a game or two of Quidditch?" He gave her his little half grin.  
  
She grinned back at him. She loved her youngest brother.  
  
"Only if you promise not to whine too much when I whip your stupid arse," she jokingly replied.  
  
"Hey know..." he chuckled good naturedly at her. Then he sobered. "Do you reckon we could convince Harry to play with us?"  
  
Ginny shrugged. "Couldn't be any harder than making Hermione play..."  
  
He snorted in amusement. "I doubt she'd even try." And then, after a moment he grabbed her hand, "Thanks, Gin," Ron softly said and she knew what he meant.  
  
Harry seemed to come out of his misery little by little. He still only approached her whenever someone else was around, but she didn't mind. The fact that he was becoming slightly better meant the world to her. Besides, she knew he was grateful, whether he would ever say anything to her or not.  
  
A week before they were due back at Hogwarts, he came to her.  
  
She was lying in the sun by the pond, her bare legs out in front of her, her head lying on her hands completely in a state of peace with everything around her.  
  
She felt a shadow move across her face. Shielding her eyes from the sun, she slowly opened her them. She wasn't surprised to find Harry standing there watching her. She could feel him whenever he was around her.  
  
"May I sit down?" he asked.  
  
"Of course you can, Harry." She replied. She sat up, to give him her full attention.  
  
He drew one knee up to his chest, his left arm resting on top. She noticed his jeans were a little too short for him. He must have had a growth spurt this summer.  
  
"Gin," her heart fluttered at the nickname. She turned to look at him before he said, "Thanks." He glanced sideways at her looking her directly in the eyes to show his sincerity.  
  
She smiled at his small token of gratitude. "No problem," was her simple reply. She wasn't nervous around him any more, though it was rather obvious he was a little nervous around her.  
  
She stifled a giggle when she watched him nervously push his glasses up his nose. He gave her a glance.  
  
"What?" he demanded.  
  
She smiled and shook her head. "Nothing..."  
  
Her smile was contagious. Ginny watched his smile widen, the first real smile she had seen from him in months.  
  
"Do I have something on my face..." he asked trying to figure out the source of her amusement, "something in my hair?" He placed a hand through it roughly.  
  
She shook her shiny red mane of hair. This time she couldn't prevent the laughter escaping her. She just laughed letting it flow out of her.  
  
He laughed with her, bringing happiness back to her.  
  
He gave a little shove to her shoulder. "You Weasleys are always laughing about something. Always finding humor in everything."  
  
"What can I say; it's just in our nature." She looked over at him, her eyes full of delight.  
  
Before she could say another word, Harry leaned towards her and gently kissed her lightly on the mouth leaving her completely without words. She slightly opened her mouth to his, returning his kiss.  
  
Harry released her mouth and pulled back from her. Ginny could see in his eyes something she thought she'd never see from him; the beginnings of love.  
  
He gave a small smile and kissed her on the forehead before standing up. "Thank you, Ginny."  
  
Her heart fluttered as she watched him walk back towards the Burrow.  
  
A smile played on her lips as she thought of the way his had felt on her own. She stayed out there thinking for several more hours, lavishing in the knowledge that she was loved in return.  
  
A/N: Ok....this struck me about three and a half hours ago, when I was trying to finish a R/Hr fic. It wouldn't leave me alone no matter how hard I tried....so I gave up and wrote it. Damn the little plot bunnies. Please review. Tell me if you hated it, loved it, or if you want more. Thanks. 


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